Transitioning into adulthood

The financial and emotional investments parents make.

Think about how different growing up is now compared to 30 years ago. Back then, there was a clearer, more linear path to adulthood: finishing school, starting a job, getting married and having children. Society had specific expectations of when these milestones should happen. With such structured societal norms, parents felt pressured, and any deviation from this path often lead to worry and disappointment.

Today, parents feel just as much pride and hope as they watch their children transition into adulthood, but the path to what society calls “success” is, perhaps, more winding than before. Drawing from a recent survey by the Pew Research Center, new data provides insights into how adulthood has evolved and how these changes are shaping the lives of young adults today.

Parenting past and present

Many parents believe their children’s successes and failures reflect their own parenting, with 71% holding this view. In the last 30 years, young adults have been less financially independent, so parents are more involved in their lives, reflecting societal changes and evolving family dynamics.

Traditionally, it was expected that young adults would become financially independent not too long after earning their degree — finding a full-time job, leaving the nest and supporting themselves without parental help. That expectation isn't reflected today, with many young adults relying on their parents for financial support well into their mid-thirties. Household expenses and cellphone or streaming bills are the top two areas where parents provide financial assistance.

It’s not that parents haven’t provided their children with a roadmap to independence. The survey indicates that 66% of young adults say their parents prepared them either a great deal or a fair amount to be independent adults. This varies by income with a large majority of upper-income (85%) and middle-income (73%) young adults feeling well prepared.

Why, then, is financial dependency so common? It’s no longer the ‘90s, and young adults trying to establish themselves face a very different playing field. Young adults today aren’t encountering the same economic and social landscape their parents did. While more young adults have full-time jobs and higher wages than those in the early 1990’s, they face higher living costs. Housing, healthcare and education prices have increased significantly. Rising education costs are a large reason why their debt has soared, and young adults today are more likely to be college graduates. Additionally, delayed marriage and parenthood have risen sharply among 25- to 29-year-olds, with only 29% married in 2023 compared to 50% in 1993. Pushing out these transitional events often means that young adults are spending more time on education and career development, resulting in more student debt and prolonged financial dependence.

Economic challenges and delayed milestones are factors that contribute to why many parents continue to support their adult children financially. This has also led to a cultural shift toward this dependance becoming more socially acceptable, with many parents feeling the responsibility to help their children succeed.

Emotional reliance

Not only are parents financially invested in their children's futures, but there’s also a deep emotional connection. They view themselves as ongoing supporters rather than stepping back once they reach adulthood.

The strength of the parent-child relationship plays a crucial role in emotional reliance. Parents who rate their relationship as excellent or very good are much more likely to say their child depends on them for emotional support.

Age also plays a factor; parents of younger adults (ages 18-24) are more likely to feel this emotional reliance than those with children in their early 30s. When it comes to mothers, particularly those with daughters, emotional reliance is more pronounced, with 52% of moms reporting a high level of emotional dependence. And these emotional bonds often remain strong well into adulthood.

According to the survey, 73% of parents text and 54% talk on the phone with their children a few times a week. Surprisingly, many young adults are accepting of that, with 7 in 10 saying their parents are as involved in their daily lives as they’d like them to be.

Thirty years ago, young adults did seek their parents' advice, but generally less often than they do today. A little more than half rarely or never asked for their parents' guidance. However, with closer emotional relationships now, the tides have shifted, making young adults more comfortable with seeking advice on topics from finances and jobs to health and dating.

Positive outlook

These days, young adults are more likely to be living with their parents, but that doesn’t mean they’re not pitching in financially. In fact, 72% help with household expenses like groceries, utilities, the rent or mortgage. And among young adults that aren't fully financially independent yet, three-quarters are confident they'll get there eventually. Parents are optimistic too, with 72% believing their child is extremely or very likely to become financially independent in the future.

Is the path to adulthood straightforward? No, but the bond between parent and child has become stronger as young adults face unique circumstances unlike those of their parents' youth. This makes the journey a bit easier, knowing that parents are supportive of their path to independence, whether through financial assistance or emotional support.

Source: Pew Research Center